Now I know that you've been wondering when.

And I bet you've been thinking why.

But I betcha you never thought that I would drop you a line.

You see I want to tell you just what you mean to me.

I am very observant and you are too

but you cant see what I see.

I see many characteristics, some I love and some I hate.

Yes it's a strong word, it may hurt but let's not debate.

It's constructive criticism and no one takes that lightly.

It's the way I see it and you may see it differently.

Your'e being too hard on self, your'e playing it too safe.

Your daily escape has become a habit.

You ignore issues as if they never happened.

Yes, I understand that youve got to put it in Gods hands

But you must also make a way for self to receive ultimate spiritual wealth.

We're all broken vessels that need to be repaired and no one likes it when their dirty laundry is aired.

It may be an inconvenience for me to tell you about yourself but give some thought to your emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

You're cracking, breaking making yourself sick and this is all going in one ear and out the other or not making any sense.

You know what though it's kinda funny because I speak as if I'm perfect.

I know that's not the case and that I may have no room to talk but if you don't like what I'm saying then you can walk!

The above poem I wrote in 2002 for a difficult man I was with. I thought it would be appropriate to preclude this article.

Like most women, I do nothing without first consulting my friend-- intuition. Especially when it comes to relationships. My ability to see potential or failure within a mate is on point and I am not even 30 yet! Now, I am not talking psychic abilities or fortune telling. I have two mottos I live by in life and those are "Actions speak louder than words" & "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". These are powerful words that serve a place in life, especially when it comes to relationships.

What makes it so easy for me is that I am ultra observant to a man's reactions to my reactions. Yes, reactions to reactions. For every action there is a reaction but in some cases, for every reaction there is a reaction. In the beginning of a relationship, it's all about the getting to know you stage. This is the most important stage of a relationship. It sets the tone for the endurance of his stay. Observe his actions, listen closely to his conversation and pay attention to behavior that is unacceptable or behavior that later on down the line you'll start to find unacceptable. Then you check it on the spot, creatively! Given the situation, tactfully warn him that you are not having it. This is what I mean by reaction to reaction.

You see, unacceptable behavior in a man is based on the standards you have. What you are looking for in a mate. If he has the potential to live up to your standards then you have room for negotiation. Negotiation not settling. Hold him to what he promises you and if he backslides then you do the same, with tact. His actions have to speak louder than his words and you do unto him as he does unto you! If all else fails cut him loose!

Sharla Williams

I was born in 1976 and raised in Cleveland, OH by a single mother. I was my mother's only child. My father died when I was five years old. My grandmother and grandfather were constant positive figures in my life until the man of my life passed away in 2006 which left my grandmother as the matriarch of the family. My family was small. Until I turned seven I thought I was my father?s only child. That?s when I met my half brother who was about six at the time. How was a spoiled brat like me to adapt. I adjusted, though. Since birth, I have been determined, innovative and articulate. To this day, my family tells stories about when I was a baby and how I used to roll my eyes at people- appropriately!

As I matured I learned from my life experiences. By the time I graduated from high school I was a mother of two. My sons gave me the drive to further my education. At first I wanted to become a lawyer, then a cosmetologist but neither of those fields interested me for long. My focus soon faded and I was on to something new. A local modeling agency recruited me for runway modeling which I did off and on while attending school. The pay wasn?t enough. I knew that without money there would be no ends meeting. So school was put on hold while I pursued employment. Although I don?t have a college degree, I have some college education and combined with the life lessons learned my expertise is equivalent to a bachelor graduate?s. I had to make ends meet somehow but it wasn?t long before I wanted more. I wanted to do more than make ends meet I wanted them to overlap!

After many unsatisfying careers and some much needed soul searching I figured out that I needed to work for myself, use my God given talents to provide a service to others. Friends and family always wanted me to do their resumes. English was my best subject in school and writing was fun to me. I had notebooks full of poetry that I had written over the years. Writing is a form of expression and I had become so comfortable with it that I had developed my own style.

So it took me ten years to figure out that writing is my calling but it won?t take another ten for me to be successful. My goal is to become one of the most innovative and dynamic writers within the industry. With my adaptability, determination, hard work and dedication I am confident that it won?t be long before you will be reading my articles in magazines like Essence and/or reading my book in your den.