Movies, books, songs - they all profess to know what a woman wants.

That would all be fine and dandy if you lived your life in 90 minutes, or 20 chapters, or 3 minutes and 30 seconds.

But what of the real world, where you can't rewind the movie or put the song on repeat forever.

Ah, the real world. That place where humans slither and crawl, claw and dig, and finally - gasping for breath - hope they've at last arrived at the dawn of nirvana.

In days gone by a woman wanted a man with good breeding. Good breeding sounds like an event that would have taken place in a cattle rancher's barn. Today's equivalent of good breeding would be a man who's family hasn't been featured on the Jerry Springer Show.

But what is it that we really expect from the opposite sex? It's something beyond Brad Pitt's boyish grin, George Clooney's mischievous eyes and Gregory Peck's smooth manner (not that any of those are a bad thing to want).

Maybe "expect" is too demanding a notion. Sometimes the best we can do is hope.

We can hope for a man who will be patient with all our faults - like our phobias of vacuuming, dusting and anything remotely related to the domestic goddess category.

We hope for a man who knows that the natural position of a toilet seat is down and not up.

We hope for a man who loves our cat at least half as much as he claims. (We're well aware that you blow razzberries at Mr. Fluffy when we're not home.)

We hope that when our cat dies, and we are feeling inconsolable, that your offer to take us to the mall means more than just dropping us off at the front entrance with a pat on the head.

We can hope for a man who doesn't retain bragging rights to the cornucopia of sounds this his body emits.

We not only hope, but we pray, for a man who's idea of pitching woo isn't bellowing across the room, "Hey, why don't you come over here and sit on my lap so we can talk about the first thing that comes up!"

Maybe I hope for too much and expect too little.

What I should expect is a man who will stand by me in spite of my self doubts. One who's willing to learn and grow with me. I want a man who isn't afraid to take risks. I'm not talking David Blaine hanging in a glass box risks. I'm talking about someone who isn't afraid to put it all out there for the world to see. Someone who lays his worth on the line - exposed and naked.

I want the world -- but I want it with someone by my side who wants it too. That's a lot to expect.

Given the choice of having the world alone or not having it at all... I expect of myself to choose the world alone.



Copyright (c) 2005 Maureen Valdes Marsh All Rights Reserved

Maureen Valdes Marsh

Maureen Valdes Marsh is a survivor of corporate America (and Catholic school!). Having worked in the real world for far too long, Maureen pitched it all in for a slower pace and lifestyle. She took her love of vintage clothing and rolled it into an on-line business of her own - launching Vintage Grace in October, 2003.

Her many careers included a stint at a magazine and independent newspaper in the Sierra Foothills of California - where in additional to being the Financial Manager - Maureen worked as a reporter and graphic designer. It was this love of writing and creativity that led her to include a column on her website titled, Musings of Vintage Grace.

Through her Musings column, Maureen is able to reflect both humorously and pensively about life through the eyes of an aging (tail end) Baby Boomer.

Her writing and love of vintage clothing has led to a book deal with Collectors Press. The book (to be released in Fall 2006), tentatively titled, 'Be There or Be Square: Fashions Flare in the 1970s', is a humorous look at America and what can only be considered "Fashion Don'ts" of the 70s.

When Maureen isn't writing or selling vintage clothing, she can be found 2 days a week working for the American River Conservancy. The Conservancy is a not-for-profit land conservation organization located in the Sierra Foothills. The Conservancy works to protect the valuable resources of the Sierra Foothills, Rivers and Mountains as well as its habitat and open spaces for generations to come.