Often in marriage, especially in the early years, there is a choice:

You can be right or you can be happy -- not both.

You need to choose wisely.

Some people operate in relationships under the illusion that the are incapable of error and that their partner is always the one that is wrong. This sets you up to see your partner as the enemy. Nothing much good can happen once you begin to see your partner as the enemy.

Some people have raised the desire to be right into an art form. They argue their point relentlessly, sometimes even saying things they do not even believe just to be right.

The trouble is, you can fight to be right, and win, but you do so at the expense of the relationship.

A wise friend of mine had this to say after his first year of marriage: "It took me a while, but I finally figured out that the sun will come up tomorrow if we do it her way."

Another wise older gentleman called in to a radio show I was on to say that he had learned that what was good for his wife was good for him.

Would that that kind of wisdom would spread.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com